Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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