and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
