Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
