I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
