Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
