just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your penis caused this!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
