yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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