So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We don't watch enough power rangers
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have aggressive nipples.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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