Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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