I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood