I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?