They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
