people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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