we have officially lost it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
