so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
