You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
