i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
