I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the day after is always just damage control
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
