if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
