There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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