Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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