It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
