I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize