Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
