I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
