two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
