drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
