A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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