Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
