this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
