please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
