your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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