He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
