Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
