That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
