help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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