i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
