Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
