check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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