We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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