her vagine was all disorganized.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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