we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
