His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
