I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
