I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
