How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
