And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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