I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
