you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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