I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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