i may or may not be watching the land before time
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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