Just cropdusted the office
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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