Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
