you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
