If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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