ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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