she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
