these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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