there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
