Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
