I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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