If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
