So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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