I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
