I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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