What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
